I could not possibly let this day go by without remembering the amazing artist we lost 30 years ago, John Lennon. Lennon was far more than an artist; he was a humanitarian. And he was a dreamer. Just as he says in his beautiful song Imagine, "You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one." No, John, you are not the only one. I am a dreamer, too. :)
Lately, with all of this time that I have been given with little to do, I have been doing a lot of dreaming. I dream of the day that will come when I will go into remission and be pain free. I dream of the day when the rest of my IC sisters and I can all live pain free, healthy lives. But, much like John Lennon, I dream of peace, of love and of faith. Imagine if we could all just lay our armor down, what a wonderful world this would be. If we could set aside our differences of opinion, religion, and politics......just imagine what would be left. What if we set aside all our grudges, prejudices, and hurt feelings with the ones we love? And what if we let go of all of the things we cannot control; our health, our regrets, and all of the what ifs?
We would all be left with the same things Lennon spoke of so dearly; love, peace and faith. We would truly love like we have never been hurt because we would have already let go of our previous pain. We would live in a state of peace and acceptance of ourselves and of others in every walk of life. And we would live in faith and conviction that life is truly the most beautiful thing in the world.
I have been trying to live in the way I believe John Lennon was speaking of. I have accepted my health condition as something I cannot change right now, so I am just going to enjoy the view from where I am. I know you are probably wondering what enjoyment I could possibly be getting out of this. But hear me out.... If I hadn't gotten so sick, I wouldn't be where I am right now. I have had to move back home because of my health. But I wouldn't trade it for anything. My family and I needed this time to regain our closeness and it has been so graciously given to us. I am blessed to say that I am surrounded by my family every single day. If I had not fallen ill and been unable to work, I wouldn't have fully realized not only my passion, but my calling to be a writer and my determination to make a career out of doing what I love.
This time of reflection has also helped me to let go of other things, too; friendships that were draining my energy, old wounds I was clinging to and unrealistic expectations I once held myself to. I used to put a lot more focus on my physical appearance. I was never able to just accept myself as is- I was too skinny, too fat, my skin was too ruddy, my hair was awful....whatever! I was always so hard on myself. Then, I finally gave myself permission to not be perfect. And for the first time, the other day someone told me I was beautiful and I said in reply, 'thank you,' instead of giving them a million reasons why I wasn't. I let go of some old hurt feelings so that I could allow myself to feel love and forgiveness, not only for others, but for myself. Give yourself permission to not be perfect. Accept yourself and those around you for who they are. Lay down your armor and allow yourself to be who you are and love those around you for being who they are.
I know some of my new readers have IC as well. Remember, you may have IC but IC does not have YOU! We cannot allow our circumstances to become who we are. Remember who you are without IC. You are still that person, even though some days it doesn't feel like it. Allow yourself to dream. The amazing thing about dreams is that the sky is the limit and we can dream anything our hearts can wish for. Dream about the better days ahead, because there are better days coming. Dream about love and light and hope. If you keep dreaming and keep having faith, those dreams become reality. And you can live in a state of love, acceptance and peace no matter what your circumstances may be. If you had told me a year ago I would be where I am right now and content, happy.....I would have told you you were a nutcase! Ha! But I am. I am content with where I am today and I am hopeful for an even better tomorrow.
I cannot thank all of you enough for the support you have shown me. The greatest compliments I receive are when someone tells me I have touched them in some way with my words. In fact I got a compliment today that brought tears to my eyes. It's encouragement like that that inspires me and lets me know I am exactly where God wants me to be. Thank you for your unwavering support and love. Please feel free to reach out to me in any way you like because I love to hear from you guys. You can share your thoughts by commenting on the blogs themselves or you can locate me on facebook at www.facebook.com/musiccitymel and on twitter at www.twitter.com/musiccitymel. Or if you would ever like to contact me privately, you can reach me via email at email@example.com. I hope that I can encourage you all to keep dreaming in the way that you each inspire me.
"You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one. I hope someday you'll join us and the world will live as one." - John Lennon